Our first reading today continues with the theme of fairness; some may refer to it as justice. On Sunday mornings, I often listen to Bishop Baron’s homily on Hallow. Last Sunday’s homily seems to relate to this week as well. In summary, Bishop Baron’s message was about having the privilege while on earth of participating in the divine life by praying, sacrificing, and loving – yes even those we would consider enemies. Throughout much of the gospels, and in homilies, we often hear stories of a last ditch or death bed conversion. The most prominent of these is St. Dismas, the “good thief” crucified on Jesus’ right. Bishop Baron argued that Dismas lacked the opportunity and grace to live a life that would not result in his death by crucifixion. How many of our fellow travelers today share this same fate – not enough food, money, shelter, time, acceptance, etc to live a life participating in the divine life? He further states that heaven should not be viewed as a reward or prize for a life well lived. St. Catherine of Sienna declared that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. The way to heaven, living here on earth, is itself heaven. I don’t know about you but some days “the way” is challenging and unappealing. These are the days I need to shed light on and explore these feelings further. I need to get over my preoccupation with fairness, justice, and equity or whatever the term of the day is because our faith defines love as willing the good of others. Instead of feeling looked over, unappreciated, cheated, or helpless about the day I need to have a mind shift; if I can’t feel joy over someone who can surrender to a life of love then the problem is mine, not theirs. These days, I pray for the focus on self to be overcome by the focus on other.

In our second reading we have Paul encouraging Christians to have the same attitude as Christ. Paul then talks about pursuing the way of unity. He claims that this oneness is displayed in the ways Christians reject selfishness and consider the needs of others as more important than their own. Again, some days are easier than others for me to implement this doctrine. For example, when our youngest grandchild Lyla screams (she still has only one word – “hi”) for attention, I drop everything and run (and we wonder why she continues to scream?). That’s an easy one but when I arrive at school later than anticipated and I’m preparing for the day ahead and a colleague asks “do you have a minute for one quick question”, some days it’s not so easy to say “sure!” when I’d rather say “nope, not this morning”. The number of student stories I could share could now take up the whole time, but I transgress. I’m sure we all have people in our lives that when they call we run to them and at least for me, there are others I pretend I don’t hear them or let the call go to voicemail because I just don’t have anything left in the tank for them at that time. My hope is that tomorrow will be a new day, with a new mindset, and a full tank.

Moving on to our gospel today which takes place in the Jerusalem Temple. I know these two sons but in my mind they are two daughters; but that’s a story for another day. We all know people like these sons, don’t we? Having taught thousands of students, at this point in my career, I can put names and faces to these sons. The student who yeses you to death and doesn’t complete a task and the other student you don’t think is listening yet completes the task well. But yet again I stray, back to our gospel. Once again Jesus is using a parable to point out the stubbornness of the chief priests and elders. They have Jesus the ultimate teacher and example in their presence and yet they do not follow God’s will.

So oftenJesus’ parables take place in a vineyard which is a metaphor for the nation of Israel as well as the kingdom of God; last week and this week are no exception. Today, the first son represents the poor, the immigrant, the divorcee, the woman who had an abortion, the gay man, the transsexual, the “other” who are so often unwelcome in our churches but yet may want to participate in the life of the church and are open to Jesus’ message and teachings. The second son represents the mass attendee who is no longer in relationship with their child who identifies as non-binary, the “religious” man who goes home to watch pornography, the woman who helps the poor and then proceeds to gossip about who is or is not in need of help, in their opinion. Unfortunately I know, and at times I am, these sons. Some days it’s a struggle to do what Jesus would do; I’m tired, I feel righteous, I feel people’s predicaments are their own fault and they need to figure out their own path forward. These are the days I most likely did not start the day with prayer; these are the days when I’m not being present in the moment; these are the days when I let my darkness overcome my light; these are the days I wish I employed my breathing strategies before speaking; these are the days I wish I could forget. At the end of the day, these are also the days I ask for mercy and forgiveness and pledge to strive to be more loving in all my words and interactions tomorrow. This gospel story is only found in Matthew. His message is to constantly seek conversion without hesitancy and without concern for which son we are on any given day.

Resistance to feeling joy at another’s conversion needs to be explored and looked at; light must be brought into the situation. So often throughout my life I have felt that doing the right things – daily mass, regular confessions, charity work, giving alms, etc. was “the way”. Honestly, at times I felt that what I looked like to others in my faith journey was more important than how I felt about my faith journey. It was all about how I looked as a Christian but not how I felt as a Christian nor was it about my relationship with the Divine. My equation was very clear: If I did what I was supposed to do (even if it lacked joy), then heaven was my prize. If another led what was perceived as a self indulgent life, repented, and they too made it to heaven then that was “unfair” or the equation went from an equation to an inequality. As Peg said last week, I need to shift from “I have to” to “I get to”. I also need to get over my preoccupation with fairness and increase my focus on the good of the other which is then the good of all. My soul continues to be uneasy with the thought of surrendering to a life of love and I strive to let mercy and love trump justice but it’s hard! Please pray for me …