In today’s first reading, we see a very, very different version of Peter from the one during Jesus’ arrest and trials. Today, Peter is bold, confident, and defiant. He is saying, vigorously, that the miracle that the people there had just witnessed was performed in the name of “Jesus Christ the Nazorean whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead.” Can’t you just see that scene? Peter standing there and announcing that Jesus was the one path to salvation and… you know… you all killed him.

That took guts…

… because there were people there, surely, who were noticing the ruckus caused by Jesus’ disciples and the rumors that the man who was crucified had supposedly risen from the dead.

Peter continued the work of Jesus… only now with boldness, defiance, and courage.

Remember the Peter of just a few weeks ago, though? The one in the courtyard who denied even knowing Jesus? The one who ran away, abandoning his master?

Of course, the difference between these two versions of Peter can be chalked up to the Resurrection and the fact that Peter now knew that we no longer need to fear death. Seeing Jesus in the flesh after his crucifixion could certainly have that kind of effect on you.

But I’d like to go back a bit earlier in the story. Back to the courtyard. In Luke’s Gospel, there is a small line that is easy to miss. Just after Peter’s third denial, we hear that “the Lord turned and looked at Peter” and then, realizing his folly, his failure, his sin, Peter “went out and began to weep bitterly.”

“The Lord turned and looked at Peter.”

I’d like to focus for a minute on that one moment… that one moment when Jesus looked at Peter and Peter looked back at his master, his friend, and his savior. Their eyes met and there was understanding, shame, grief, and heartache. Peter knew. He knew what he had done, how he had let Jesus down, and how his own fear had overwhelmed him.

I think this is an important precursor for Peter, a necessary step, and part of his evolution toward becoming the leader who stood in front of those who would rather see him gone and proclaim, with his finger pointed out at them, I can imagine, saying “you all killed him… you’re the ones.” 

As much as we would all love to believe that we can personally advance directly from sin and failure to salvation and redemption, I wonder if we need to experience the same kind of moment that Peter did? One when we admit it, feel shame, and look into Jesus’ eyes knowing that he sees us. And that there is nowhere we can hide.

I’d like to suggest that we all meditate on that singular moment when Peter’s eyes met Jesus’ in the courtyard. And then, place ourselves there, with our shortcomings, disappointments, failures, sins, and shame… and then look into the eyes of Jesus, knowing that he sees us and knows us and that there’s little possibility of our remaining hidden. 

I believe, as John the Baptist so colorfully and passionately proclaimed, that the road to salvation is paved with repentance. That was Peter’s road, right there through the middle of a courtyard…

… but then eventually into a scene filled with triumph, courage, and confidence.

Where is your current path leading you?

And… do you need to spend some time in the courtyard?