If you are a parent… or have a parent… then you will most likely be familiar with the notion that sometimes parents are called to console and comfort their children, to tell them that everything is going to be ok. But sometimes, parents have to draw a line in the sand, stand firm, and let their children know they must change their behavior. This is called tough love. 

Usually it’s obvious to parents when it’s time to be gentle or it’s time to be tough, whether to play the good cop or the bad cop. But sometimes it’s not because there are times your child might respond better to one approach than the other. Lots of parents do both – comfort and tough love – each in good measure and as needed.

The same can be said of other relationships as well. The same can also be said of our relationship with God. Scripture includes stories reflecting both the consoling love of God and the fact that he has high expectations for us and wants us to do the right thing, even when that is difficult.

Look at today’s readings. In the first reading, we hear these words: “The Lord, your God… will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love.” That’s pretty consoling.

In the second reading, we hear: “… the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Also consoling.

But then there’s today’s Gospel. In it, John the Baptist was asked a seemingly simple question by his followers: “What should we do?”

“What should we do?”

Isn’t that a question we all have?

John offers a specific set of instructions in response, so let’s go through them one by one.

First, “Do not practice extortion…” OK, for me, that one is not too hard. I think I can do that. So far so good.

Second, “… do not falsely accuse anyone…” Alright, well, generally speaking, I try not to do this one. I’m doing pretty well on this test.

Third, “… be satisfied with your wages.” Hm, I haven’t always been great at this, so this is getting a little harder.”

And fourth, “Whoever has two cloaks should share with the person who has none. And whoever has food should do likewise.” OK, this one is a really hard. I own a lot more than two cloaks and probably more food than I actually need and I’m sure I don’t share as much as John the Baptist is suggesting. This one is… tough. 

Maybe it’s even… tough love.

Saint Ambrose once said: “If you have two shirts in your closet, one belongs to you and the other to the man with no shirt.”

Saint Ambrose is suggesting that we are not to give from our excess, from that which we don’t actually even need. When we give from our excess, we are downsizing, not being charitable. When we give from our excess, we are streamlining, cleaning up, minimizing… but we not modeling Christ.

This is worth thinking about. I know that this is something that I need to think about.

We reflect on the message of John the Baptist during Advent, a season of preparing ourselves for Christ. John offers us some tough love here and makes us question whether we preparing only in ways that comfort and console us? Or are we challenging ourselves, being fully truthful, and confronting that within us that should change?

The third Sunday of Advent is about joy and the first two readings today directly address that fact. But I think that the third, the Gospel, is more of an instruction manual on how best to find it.

Parents choose tough love… because of love, out of the care and concern for their children, because they know what is best for them, and because they hope for their enduring joy.

This is the Advent message of John… for you and I.