I said farewell to a diaconate classmate this past week. 

Ray was a gentleman, a steady-hand-on-the-wheel type who remained calm in chaos, and who always offered a welcoming smile to everyone. Twenty-five years ago, when we first met, I was drawn to him immediately. He was friendly, humble, and his actions and words left little doubt that this was someone with a deep and personal relationship with Christ. His faith always inspired me.

Unfortunately, his final years were very difficult. Alzheimer’s, often described as “the cruel disease”, robbed him of his relationships, his memories, and sometimes, his very essence. He was Ray still, but not the one we knew from two decades earlier.

His funeral was filled with reminders that he was a true servant and a model deacon. And once again, Ray inspired me. But I left his funeral with a different form of inspiration and that came from what I learned about his wife, Claire. 

We met Claire all those years ago as well and, like Ray, my classmates and I felt a strong and immediate connection to her. She was no nonsense, practical, down to earth, and a wonderful partner. She and Ray complemented each other and seemed like the perfect, loving couple.

Claire accompanied Ray during his final years, always tending to his needs, always reassuring him in his confusion, and helping him to stay as connected to his “essence” for as long as was possible. She was present. She accompanied.

I was immediately reminded of this a few hours later while visiting my 99-year-old mom who lives in a nursing home now as she requires around the clock care. As is often said of those who live to this advanced age, she has both good days and bad days. On the good days, we converse, reminisce, and I provide her with all the latest details about her grandchildren and great grandchildren. On the bad days, conversing is hard, she struggles to recall and is less interested in engaging. At those times, I just simply remain with her… and on the day of Ray’s funeral, I thought about Claire. I thought about what she went through and how difficult that must have been. I thought about the power of presence.

We pray to our divine Father, request assistance from his Son, and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit… but sometimes, the most powerful gift and grace we can receive is presence. The very power of presence.

Remember that at the beginning of Christ’s life, we are told that: All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel”, which means “God is with us.” (Matthew 1: 22-23)

And then his final promise at the very end: The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them. When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted. Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”(Matthew 28: 16-20)

The eternal mission and reassurance of Christ is that we will be accompanied throughout this life, whether it’s our “good days” or the “bad days”. I certainly reflect most deeply on the notion of divine presence during the difficult times and how that can help us through those times, knowing that we are never alone, that we are accompanied by a Savior who can relate to what we are experiencing, and who had some pretty “bad days” himself.

And that can be quite powerful indeed.