Today marks the Feast of the Holy Family… but one thing life has taught me is that families are complicated. I also know that when I describe the notion of a family, I may be talking with those for whom that conjures up thoughts and emotions completely different from what I may be thinking and feeling myself. 

As I said, families are complicated.

But that’s ok… because today is for everyone.

On the Feast of the Holy Family – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph – it’s easy to imagine them as a perfect family… but the truth is probably far more human, and in many ways, far more hopeful. Their story is marked by uncertainty, hardship, and displacement. In other words, they were a real family.

And that’s good news for us, because “family” is not a simple word. For some, it means parents and children under one roof. For others, it’s grandparents, godparents, or siblings scattered across many miles. For some, family is chosen – it’s friends who become our anchors. For others, family is strained or marked by loss. Yet the Church gives us this feast to remind us that God can enter into human relationship with tenderness and purpose.

When we look at the Holy Family, we see three people who said yes to God in the circumstances they were given. Mary said yes to a future she didn’t fully understand. Joseph said yes to a responsibility he didn’t expect. And Jesus – who was God made flesh – said yes to growing up in a simple home, learning love and trust from two ordinary but faithful people, and then ultimately, experiencing our suffering firsthand.

That Holy Family allowed God’s love to shape the way they treated one another. They listened. They protected. They forgave. They made room for each other’s fears and hopes. They stayed together through uncertainty. That is holiness lived in the everyday.

And that is something every one of us can strive for, no matter what our family looks like.

Because family is defined by the people who show up for us.

The people who help us grow.

The people we choose to forgive and who forgive us.

The people who remind us that we are not alone.

On this feast, we’re invited to do two things. 

First, to give thanks for the people who have been family to us – by birth, by choice, or by grace.

Second, we’re invited to become family for others… even if the family we came from was far from perfect. We’re called to be a source of welcome, patience, and compassion. To be, in our own way, a reflection of the Holy Family’s courage and faith.

The Holy Family shows us that God’s love takes root in ordinary relationships. It grows in kitchens and carpentry shops, classrooms and office buildings, in conversations and in humble acts of mercy. It grows when people choose love over fear, forgiveness over resentment, unity over division, and presence over indifference.

So today, let us ask for the grace to cherish the families we have, to heal the families that are hurting, and to widen the circle of family for those who feel alone. Because when we do that, we don’t just honor the Holy Family – we become a holy family ourselves.